


Kripkeland

by CaptainLydiaHarkness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adultery, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Amusement Parks, Cheating, College, College Student Dean, Crowley Being an Asshole, Depressed Dean, Destiel - Freeform, Drama & Romance, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Family Drama, Family Issues, First Time, Fist Fights, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gossip, Grad Student Castiel, Graduate School, John Winchester Being an Asshole, Lesbian Character, Lies, M/M, Marijuana, Parties, Post-High School, Rich Castiel, Rich Dean, Roller Coasters, Rumors, Scandal, Self-Hatred, Sex in later chapters, Unhappiness, Violence, Virgin Castiel, annaby - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-07-24 10:54:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7505485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainLydiaHarkness/pseuds/CaptainLydiaHarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unable to afford the European vacation he'd dreamed of, recent college graduate Castiel Novak reluctantly takes a summer job and an amusement park in his old home town where he meets Dean Winchester, the handsome 21 year old that lays the sarcasm on thick and has rumors swarming him like flies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Games

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the movie Adventureland. Enjoy :)

2002

 

“I’m not that surprised, bucko, I mean you’d only been dating for what, a week?” Gabriel asked, taking a gulp of his beer and yelling to be heard over the music. Castiel’s best friend Gabriel had decided to throw a post-graduation, pre-graduation-party party at his girlfriend’s house while she was out with her friends. She was fine with it of course, although Castiel was pretty sure Gabe didn’t mention that he was planning on inviting the whole fucking college.

 

“Eleven days.” Castiel sighed, pouring a drink for himself.

 

“Wait… you didn’t tell him about the scarlet V, did you?” Gabe asked.

 

Castiel blushed a bit. “That’s none of you’re business.”

 

 _”You did_ , didn’t you? Cassie, you promised me you wouldn’t.”

 

“I don’t lie to people that I care about.”

 

“That doesn’t mean you needed to advertise it!” Gabriel scolded. “You don’t want _virgin_  to be your signifier. You need to bed the next lonely depressive slut that walks through that door. Just chuck that V card right out the window. Get it over with. Quick and dirty.” He said, already scanning the room for a guy for Cas to sleep with.

 

“I’m not going to do that, Gabriel. I know most guys have low standards but… I guess I’m different.” Castiel sighed taking a long sip of his drink.

 

“Fine. But ya’know what? We’ll find you a guy in Europe when we go on our trip.” He said reassuringly as if Castiel needed comfort. Cas just sighed and let Gabriel sweep them into another topic that was equally mind numbing and uninteresting to him. He was excited for the trip, though. He had been waiting to get out of this town all semester. Well, since middle school if he was being honest. It was going to be a ‘transformative experience’, as he kept saying, and he couldn’t wait.

 

X X X

 

“What do you mean I can’t go to Europe?!” Castiel asked angrily, a little louder then he meant to.

 

His mother sighed. “Look Castiel, we didn’t want to ruin your graduation party but your dad has been… transferred. He’s working in a different department now, which means he’s making less money… considerably less.” Naomi explained calmly, not breaking eye contact with Castiel as her husband ordered another drink.

 

“Okay… But- but this trip was my graduation present.” Cas argued, biting his lip to stop it from quivering pathetically.

 

“I know sweetie and I am so sorry but I’m afraid we just can’t afford it.” She said, touching his arm sympathetically.

 

“But… wait, you can still help me with rent next year, right?” Castiel asked, slightly panicked. All of his plans were starting to crumble before his eyes. No money from his parents equaled no trip to Europe, no help paying for grad school, he may not even be able to move to New York now.

 

“Castiel you’re not listening to me.” His mother snapped, starting to get visibly annoyed.

 

“Listen kiddo,” His dad interrupted, raising up his third very full glass of scotch. “Here’s a toast to you. Happy graduation, son.”

 

“But dad, what am I supposed to do about grad school?” Cas asked, looking frantically between the both of them. “Columbia is holding a spot for me.”

 

“Well, if you decide that’s still what you want to do then obviously you’re going to have to get a job, Castiel.” His mother said which only furthered Castiel’s panic.

 

“A summer job…?” Castiel cringed, his face turning pale. He had never worked a day in his life. He had never had to.

 

“Yes, Castiel. A summer job.”

 

X X X

"And as if it couldn't get any worse, we're moving back to Pittsburgh!"

“Wow man, that’s rough.” Gabriel sighed they packed up Gabe’s car for the Europe trip.

 

“It’s a nightmare. Working class people don’t like people like me. I’m a romantic. I read poetry for pleasure.” Castiel groaned, worrying his lip anxiously.

 

Gabriel laughed. “Don’t worry about it, bucko. When I get back, with my dad’s connections, we can get a great deal on an apartment and uh… I’ll spot you the cash for the first couple of months.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Gabriel shrugged, leaning up against his car and lighting a joint. “Fuck, this is good weed. Speaking of which, I want you to take these…” He sighed, pulling a quart sized sandwich bag full of joints out of his jacket pocket and handing them to Castiel. “So that you’ll be with me in spirit this summer.”

 

Cas’ eyes widened and his mouth dropped open in shock. “No! No way. Put those away.” He said hastily, trying to shove them back towards his friend.

 

“Take it.” Gabriel argued, shoving away.

 

“No.”

 

“Take it.”

 

“No.”

 

“Take the weed!”

 

“Okay!”  Cas surrendered, snatching the bag and shoving it under his shirt.

 

“Good boy. Now, I know things suck right now but look at it this way… In a few short months you’ll be with me in New York City, the greatest fucking city in the world. Just like we always talked about, man. So stop your worrying you nerdy little virgin. Just relax. That’s what the weed is for.”

 

Cas snorted. His friend always knew how to make him feel better.

 

X X X

 

On top of loosing almost all of their money, watching his friends go to Europe without him, and having to face the horrors of trying to find a job, they also had to sell their nice house in the suburbs and move back into their old neighborhood almost two hours away.

 

Castiel stared at his old home. He had always wondered why his parents never sold the place when they moved. Maybe deep down they knew something like this would eventually happen and they would be forced to move back… Cas didn’t really know. All he knew was that the next day he would have to start job hunting if he ever wanted to make enough money to move away.

 

X X X

 

“They hung up on me.” Castiel sighed, slamming the phone down. It had been two weeks and every single person he’d asked for a job from had turned him down. It didn’t seem to help that he was socially awkward and had no prier job experience. “What the hell am I supposed to do? I’m not even qualified for manual labor.” He said, frustrated. “The only place that I know for sure I can get a job is with Crowley.”

 

His mother wrinkled her nose from where she sat across from him the kitchen table reading a spy novel. “At that stupid amusement park? Are you kidding? You can do better than that.”

 

“No. I can’t.” Cas argued. “I’ve checked everywhere else, mom. Unless someone gets fired at the burrito place, I’m screwed.” He sighed. “I’m just going to take the job at Kripkeland before they stop hiring, too.”

 

“I think it’s a good idea, son. Gotta do what you’ve gotta do.” His father said, accidentally knocking over a large glass of water and causing it to spill all over the floor.

 

“Oh for Christ’s sake, Chuck!” His mother yelled, jumping up to help clean the mess. Cas took that as his cue to leave.

 

X X X

 

Castiel rode his bike to Kripkeland the following day for an interview. He was nervous. This was literally the only job available and he wasn’t even sure he was qualified.

 

The amusement park was exactly how he’d remembered it. Crowded, but not overly so, kids running around without their parents, the huge rides. He had gotten a concussion on the teacup ride when he was six and his parents had tried to get the park to remove it because it was a safety hazard but it was still there, luring kids into his deadly metal mouth. He knocked on the door of what Crowley told him was the offices. Normally he wouldn’t trust Crowley with something as important as directions but he /did/ work here, and the sign /did/ say ‘Manager.’ on it.

 

A woman in her early forties opened the door. “Yes?” She asked in a friendly southern accent, smiling politely.

 

“Yes, hello, I’m Castiel Novak. I’m here for the interview.” Cas said, trying to sound confident.

 

“Oh, hey sweetie.” She smiled, recognizing the name. “I’m Ellen, assistant manager. Come on in and I’ll get the boss.” Ellen ushered Castiel inside, gesturing for him to sit down in a chair against the wall as she made her way to a back room that Castiel guessed was an office. “Bobby!” She hollered, knocking on the door. There was some grumbling and swearing from the other side of the door before it opened, the man standing in the doorway looking very disgruntled.

 

“What?” He grouched.

 

Ellen gestured to the boy sitting awkwardly in the next room. “That’s Castiel. He’s here to apply for a games job.”

 

“Games?” Bobby asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked over her shoulder to Castiel. “Great, that’s great.” He said, walking past her to come shake the boy’s hand.

 

“Uh, n-no… Actually, Bobby, I was hoping for a rides job if it’s still open.” Cas stuttered.

 

Bobby grunted, looking Cas up and down. “You look more like a games guy to me.” He said firmly and Castiel knew it was no use trying to argue.

 

“O-okay…”

 

“Alright son, here’s the rules: No freebees, no free turns for your friends, no free upgrades, no free food-“

 

“So, just… nothing is free here.” Cas asked.

 

Bobby nodded. “Yep, and the most important thing about working in games- No one  _ever_   wins a giant ass panda.”

 

“Yeah, we don’t have that many left.” Ellen added from her seat at the little desk.

 

“Uh… Okay, got it. So- I’m hired?”

 

“Yep, just sign this and you can start tomorrow.” Bobby nodded, handing Cas the little employment contract and a t-shirt. “Congrats.”

 

Castiel looked down at the t-shirt. It was neon green and had GAMES in big bold letters on the front. He had a feeling he was going to hate this place.

 

X X X

 

“Okay new guy, let’s get this over with.” Said the unenthusiastic blonde as she shoved an apron at him and gestured for him to follow. Her name was Ruby. She was short and pretty and had this thing about her that Cas liked but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. Maybe it was that fact that she simply just did not give a fuck. “Here we are at the first of many shitty games. This one is inexplicably called The Flying Dutchman. What is even more inexplicably is how they chose to spell it.” She sighed, glaring at the sign that read ‘The Flighing Dutchmann’ and Castiel would have laughed if Ruby didn’t look so scary. She went on to explain how the game worked, “One dollar buys five rings, if one of the rings falls on one of the red bottles they win a giant ass panda.” She said, gesturing to the giant stuffed animal on the wall. It was half the size of Castiel and looked very heavy.

 

“Wow. That is a giant ass panda.”  He muttered.

 

“Yeah, it’s the best prize in the park but that’s because this game is unwinnable. See?” She said, dropping a ring directly over one of the red bottles. The ring fell off immediately, the bottle just slightly too big for it to fit.

 

“So… No one ever wins?” Cas frowned.

 

“Yep. Basically, if someone wins a giant ass panda on your watch you’d better just go home because you’re fired, ok?”

 

Ruby lead his through a few more games before arriving at what she said was her booth this week. “Every couple of week we get to change it up, switch to different booths. Not that it makes it any more fun.” The booth had a wall with several mannequins in front of it that slid back and forth on a mechanical line like moving targets. She explained that the object of the game was to chuck balls at the mannequin’s heads and try and knock their hats off. If you knock two out of the three mannequin’s hats off then you win a giant ass panda. “But, like the other games that is impossible because two of the hats are glued on.” She said, pulling at one of the hats. “See? Stuck fast.”

 

“Hmm… I see.” Castiel nodded, following her to another game booth.

 

“You get five minute bathroom breaks every two hours. I recommend saving a few of those up in case you get hungry or want to go number 2.” Ruby said, her face extremely serious.

 

Suddenly out of nowhere Crowley came walking past, laughing hysterically when he saw the game shirts. “They put you on _games?_  Oh, that’s rotten luck! You’re so fucked, Cassie. So fucked. Right in your tight gay asshole.” He chuckled, flipping off Ruby before skipping off again. Cas glared after him. It’s not like he had much choice. It was games or nothing.

 

Ruby turned to look at him, a sharp eyebrow raised questioning. Castiel cringed. Oh no, here it comes, the _What did he call you?_ ’s and the _You’re a fag?_ ’s

 

“You know that prick?” She asked, disgust was evident in her voice, but it wasn’t directed at him.

 

“Um, yes… He used to be my best friend.” Cas said, still somewhat shocked.

 

“Oh yeah, then what happened?”

 

“Then I turned four.”

 

“Ah.” She said, her lips quirking up slightly to form an almost-smile. “C’mon, let’s get you a booth.” They continued walking, Ruby seeming to have warmed up to him a little. “So, you’re life must be utter shit, or else you wouldn’t be here.”

 

Cas cleared his throat. “Uh, yes, I was planning on going to Europe for the summer but my family has been having finical issues.”

 

“At least your parents aren’t making you pay rent.” Ruby said flatly. “My dad even makes me pay utilities.” 

 

X X X

 

Ruby lead him to an unmanned booth, a game in which people could race little wooden horses across a race with controls, whoever won the race, won a prize. There really wasn’t much that Cas had to do, thankfully, just announce the race and then give out the prize. But it was so dreadfully boring that Castiel was already considering suicide only two hours in to his new job.

 

“Alright… we have a winner. It’s the purple horse. Congratulations. Green is in second, yellow’s third. Here’s your prize.” Cas droned unenthusiastically into his microphone. Someone was laughing. Castiel looked up to see the man at the booth across from him laughing at him. He was gorgeous; Cas thought, tall, tan skin and dirty blonde (almost brown) hair, grinning at him with those immaculately white teeth.

 

“Hey, son.” Came a gruff voice from behind Castiel, making him jump violently. It was Bobby and he was frowning pointedly at the younger man.

 

“Hello, yes.” Cas said, blushing slightly.

 

“D’ya think you can take it up a notch?” Bobby asked, his eyebrows raised in a weirdly intimidating way.

 

“Yes, it’s just that… I really don’t think I’m the right person to run this game, sir. I think, actually I believe that I should be on rides because-“

 

“No.” Bobby said gruffly. “We don’t need you on rides, we need you on games.”

 

“I… Okay.” Castiel sighed, defeated.

 

“You ever seen a horse race before? Heard one on the radio?”

 

“Uh, harness racing or the normal racing?”

 

“It don’t matter which. You ever seen the Kentucky Derby? The announcer on the radio is real excited and talks real fast. Like at an auction.”

 

“Yes, I think I understand what you’re saying.”

 

“A’ight.” Bobby nodded, slapping a hand on the counter of his booth. “Just get into it, son. Make it a performance, that’s what people come for.”

 

“Okay, thank you Bobby.”  Cas said, forcing a polite smile. Bobby nodded once more and walked off, probably to inspect someone else. A new group of people came up to his booth, sitting down in front of the controls for the horse race. Castiel prepared himself mentally, trying to remember some of what he had heard from when his mom used to listen to the Kentucky Derby on the radio. “Everybody ready? Okay, and they’re off!” He said, slamming the button that started the game. “And red horse is in the lead, but look out here comes green issuing him a challenge in the outside lane. Purple horse using the conditions to give him a slight edge, and leading the pack. Yellow bringing up the rear. Wait, look out, out of nowhere orange breaks to the head of the pack! It’s orange and green head to head! Orange and green, orange and green, OH! Orange wins!” Castiel shouted, making a dramatic finish and tossing the prize at the winner. “Congratulations, sir.”

 

Everyone left, walking off to play more games and Castiel got another clear view of the guy at the booth across from him. He was leaning over the counter of his booth, grinning at Castiel. Cas waved hesitantly, causing the man to grin even wider and wink before looking away to talk to Bobby who had just walked over.

 

Maybe this job wouldn’t suck so bad after all.

 

X X X

 

Castiel had never been more wrong.

 

“Yo! Guy!”

 

Castiel sighed. He was used to this by now but it still annoyed him. He had officially been working at Kripkeland for six days and it was like hell on earth. He had been moved to the bottles and rings booth on day three and had only seen the tall handsome guy twice since then on the way to the bathroom. Ruby told him his name is Dean but that was all she said. She seemed hesitant about introducing them. 'People have a nasty habit of falling in love with Dean, but...' She'd said, before she had been interrupted by Garth, another games operator, who was freaking out because a little kid puked all over his counter. 

 

“Yes sir, how many rings would you like?” He asked the man who was holding the hand of a small boy around the age of seven.

 

“Gimme five.” The man said with an unusually happy smile.

 

“Alright.”

 

“Hey, I heard some big fat lady fell off the Pergatory.” He said conversationally.

 

Castiel raised an eyebrow, counting out five rings and handing them to the man. He was pretty sure this guy was bullshitting him. “Really? I haven’t heard about that, is she okay?”

 

“I dunno.” The guy shrugged, leaning over the counter to talk to him. “Hey, can I actually have ten rings?”

 

“Alright.” Cas mumbled, turning away to count out the rings.

 

“Ya’know what? Make it fifteen.” The guy was starting to make Cas nervous. “Anyways, so I heard she was this big fat slob of a woman. Like she shouldn’t have even gotten on the ride, ya’know?”

 

Out of the corner of his eye Cas saw the man lifting his kid up over the counter and placing a ring on one of the red bottles. Castiel turned around and frowned at him.

 

“Look at that! He won!” Said the man, grinning smugly.

 

“Okay sir, uh, you can’t do that. I saw you holding him over the bottles. That’s cheating.”

 

The man’s smile faded. “No, he won fair and square so you’ve got to give him a prize.”   

 

“Look, you don’t understand. I could loose my job.” Cas pleaded, but the man just kept getting angrier.

 

“I can’t believe this.” He growled, turning to a group of people passing by and pointing at Castiel angrily. “This faggot is trying to rip off a kid!”

 

Cas winced. “Sir, please-“

 

The man pulled a knife out of his pocket and leaned over the counter threateningly. “Why don’t you give my kid a fucking panda?”

 

“Alright, there’s no need for that.” Came a voice and Cas turned to see the handsome games guy, Dean, walking over with his hands raised. He snatched up one of the giant pandas and handed it over to the man. “Here you go, there’s your panda.”

 

“Thanks.” The man grumbled, taking it and handing it to his son. Dean watched them closely until they were out of sight and then turned to Castiel who was staring at him.

 

“W- Am I going to get in trouble? No one’s ever supposed to win a giant ass panda.”

 

“So? Is it worth getting knifed over?” Dean asked, raising his eyebrow.

 

Cas shook his head, blushing. “No, I suppose not. Thank you for…”

 

“No problem, man.”

 

“I’m Castiel, by the way. Castiel Novak.” He said, holding out a hand.

 

Dean shook it, looking surprised. “Uh, hey. I’m Dean. Nice to meet you.” Cas smiled, up close he could see that Dean had freckles scattered across his tanned face and his eyes were bright green.

 

“It’s too bad you’re going to look your job on your first week, Cas.” Dean sighed. Castiel looked at him, alarmed, causing Dean to toss his head back in a laugh. “I’m kidding man, I’ll tell Bobby what happened.”

 

Cas ducked his head, blushing again. “Thanks.”

 

“Seriously man, it’s not a problem.” Dean smiled, patting him on the back. “C’mon, you deserve a lunch break.”

 

X X X

Dean was amazing. He was handsome and funny and had this deep laugh that made Castiel die a little inside. In a nutshell, he was perfect… And way out of Castiel’s league. Ruby warned him over and over that this would happen. And even now, she was shooting Cas dirty looks as he mooned over the taller man. 

 

But god damn, Dean was so hot when he smoked… Cas thought, sighing as he watched Dean practically inhale his cigarette in one breath. It was the end of the week and all out his co-workers -Dean, Ruby, Ash, Anna and Garth- were all standing in the parking lot of the amusement park, laughing and passing around a bottle of whiskey that Ruby had swiped from Bobby’s office when he wasn’t looking. Everyone was excited about the weekend of freedom ahead.

 

“I think someone tried to write ‘Satan lives’ on the wall over there but they spelled it ‘Satin lives’.” Cas pointed out to Dean, giggling. He was a bit tipsy.

 

“Mm, one of those textile worshipping cults no doubt.” Dean said, smiling around his cigarette. Castiel laughed.

 

Crowley approached them, his hands in his pockets. “Hello boys and girls.” He said in that gravelly accent that Cas had never known exactly where it came from. Neither of his parents are British from what Castiel remembered. “Hello, gayboy.” He addressed to Cas, who blushed and desperately hoped Dean was not homophobic. “Love the T-shirt, Dean…” He gestured to Dean’s AC/DC t-shirt. “Nick played with them once, from what I heard...”

 

“Who?”

 

“AC/DC.”

 

“No, I mean who is Nick?” Castiel corrected himself.

 

“You don’t know The Legend?” Crowley asked in awe. Beside him, Anna’s mouth dropped open.

 

“No, I don’t ‘The Legend’.” Cas said, making little air quotes with as he spoke.

 

“He- He doesn’t know- Time out guys. He doesn’t know The Legend?!” Ash piped up, staring at Cas like he was out of his mind. Castiel blushed and shook his head, starting to feel like he was missing something very important. “Nick Munroe. He totally jammed with Brian Johnson back in the day.”

 

“W-wow. Wow. Nick Munroe… does he work here?” Cas asked, feeling stupid. He looked to Dean for help but Dean just looked uncomfortable. 

 

“Yea... uh- he’s a maintenance guy.” Dean explained softly, since no one else offered to explain.

 

“So, he’s a real musician?” Castiel asked.

 

“Yeah! He’s got his own band and… And he’s the greatest.” Anna piped up, grinning from ear to ear as she cradled the whiskey bottle against her chest.

 

“Indeed. And I imagine he gets a good amount of pussy as a result.” Crowley smirked, causing everyone to groan in disgust.

 

“Fucking perv.” Ruby grumbles, scooting close to Anna and trying to coax the bottle out of her grip.

 

Suddenly a yellow mustang came out of nowhere and a king sized slushie was thrown out the window at their feet, splashing all over everyone’s shoes. “Eww, gross!” Anna shrieked, almost dropping the whiskey bottle as he hopped around trying to shake the disgusting sticky drink off her white tennis shoes.

 

“Ah, that would be us, Asstiel.” Crowley said, gesturing for Cas to follow him to the car that was now parked several yards away.

 

“Asstiel. Guess that’s me.” Castiel grumbled quietly, waving apologetically to everybody before turning to follow his frienemy.

 

“Wait! Cas!” Castiel turned, his eyes widening when he saw Dean jogging after him. “You can ride with me if you want.”

 

“Really?” Cas stammered, his mouth hanging open. “Crowley I got a ride! Really?”

 

“Yeah, ‘course.” Dean chuckled.

 

“Thank you so much.” Castiel exhaled a sigh of relief, turning to Crowley. “I have a ride, Crowly. You can go. Goodnight.”

 

“Oh, you have a ride?” Crowley asks, his voice deceptively innocent as he walked back over to where Cas and Dean stood.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh, okay, well in that case…” Crowley punched Cas in the nuts for the third time that week. It was a horrible quirk that Crowley had acquired when they were kids that he apparently never grew out of. Much like the gay jokes.

 

Cas bucked and fell to his knees, groaning in pain and holding his groin. “What the hell?!” Dean shouted but Crowley had already taken off across the parking lot and was jumping into the yellow mustang. Dean helped Castiel to his feet and held him upright while he regained a tiny bit of his dignity. “What the hell was that about?” He muttered.

 

“Oh, just my life.” Cas croaked.

 

X X X

 

Dean popped in a cassette tape and loud rock music filled the interior of the beautiful 1967 Chevy Impala that they were currently seated in. Dean loved the car and really came alive when Cas had asked about it, happily telling him the make and model and explaining how in hand been passed down to him from his father who was a classic car dealer. Their conversation eventually died out, however, and now they just sat and bobbed their heads to the music, perfectly content in that moment.

When they rolled to a stop outside Castiel’s house, they felt no urge to part just yet so they sat and talked for a while before Naomi opened a window at the top floor and craned her head out to see what was going on.

 

“Shit, who’s that?”

 

“Oh, god… It’s just my mother. She’s very nosy.” Castiel sighed, rolling the car window down and waving forlornly at his mother. “She used to read my journals when I was a kid. I had to start writing them in Italian.”

 

“Wow.” Dean said, chuckling at how ridiculous that was. “So, uh, Ruby says that you’re gonna go to Columbia grad school.”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“Wow.” Dean repeated. He cleared his throat. “…I’m at NYU right now.”

 

“Oh, that’s really cool. Maybe we will run into each other one day on thee streets of New York City.” Cas said, almost hopefully.

 

“What’re you studying?”

 

“Journalism.” Cas answers automatically. “I want to be a travel essayist. But I also want to report on the real state of the world… Like, Charles Dickens, for example, wrote what you might call ‘travel books’ but instead of jungle expeditions he visited prisons and mental asylums.”

 

Dean blinked, trying to absorb everything Cas had just said. “That’s awesome, Cas.”

 

“Really? Is it?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

“Okay, good.” Cas breathed, a little relieved that he hadn’t freaked Dean out with his rant.

 

“So, why do you have to go to grad school for that?”

 

“That’s… actually a valid question. You see, journalism is old boys network. Still, you need the right connections and it’s very prestigious and Ivy League… exclusive and… stupid.” Cas sighed, kind of amazed that Dean still seemed interested in what he had to say. He probably sounded like a total douchebag. “My mom would probably rather me intern at some fortune 500 company…”

 

“Fuck that.” Dean said passionately.

 

“Yes! Yeah, exactly what I said.” Cas said, smiling widely as their eyes met. They stared at each other for just a beat too long before Dean cleared his throat and said,

 

“I, uh- Gotta get goin but thanks for hangin out for a bit.”

 

“Of course, Dean. Have a nice night.” Cas replied, waving as he got out of the car. As the Impala drove off Cas sighed, his chest aching dully.

 

Great, he was already pinning for the guy...  Maybe Ruby was right about not getting too close to Dean.


	2. Balthazar is back

A few days later Castiel met Nick Munroe. He was tall, handsome man in his mid-thirties with strong arms from years of repair and maintenance work.

 

Nick was fixing the revolving mannequins game where Castiel had been stationed that day and they had got to talking. “So, I heard you played with Brian Johnson…”

 

Nick looked up from his work and huffed an exasperated laugh. “Shouldn’t believe everything you hear.” 

 

“Oh…” Cas said, slightly disappointed.

 

Nick laughed. “M’just fuckin with ya. I’ll tell you about it sometime.”

 

Cas grinned. “Cool.” Nick turned back to fixing the broken game. “Uh- where does your band play?”

 

Nick sighed at the question. “Shitholes around town. I need better musicians. Thinkin’ of starting a new band out in L.A.”

 

“Los Angeles?”

 

“Yeah… It’s gonna be cool. I’m goin’ this winter.”

 

Dean came up and touched Cas’ shoulder, laughing when he jumped in surprise. “Hey guys.” He said, his eyes trained on Nick. “Party at my house tonight. Dad’s outta town.”

 

“I’m invited?” Cas asked, genuinely surprised.

 

“Yeah, man. That’s why I’m telling you.” Dean laughed. “Are you gonna come, Nick?”

 

Nick looked up from what he was doing and briefly met Dean’s eye. “You kiddies have fun.” He said sarcastically.

 

Dean rolled his eyes at Nick and walked away, looking dejected.

 

“He’s cool, right?” Cas said to no one in particular as he watched Dean go.

 

“Sure.” Nick grunted.

 

X X X

 

Everyone from work was at the party – except for Crowley, of course – as well as some people that Cas didn’t know. Probably high school friends of Dean’s. The house was nothing to look at from the outside, just a plain two story green house, but the inside was huge and grandly decorated.

 

Castiel spotted Dean from across the room and gravitated towards him, smiling. “Hello, Dean.” He said, waving. Dean smiled softly when he saw Cas.

 

“Hello yourself.”

 

“This house is great. But- if your family’s wealthy… why the hell do you work at Kripkeland?”

 

Dean chuckled. “Well, we weren’t always rolling in dough… But my dad married this rich bitch a few years back and he very quickly adapted to the lifestyle,” He gestured around him. “to keep her happy. Look, it’s a good reason to get out of the house. Anything is better than being stuck at home all summer with dad and my step-mom, Abaddon.”

 

Castiel nodded in understanding. He too had been trying to avoid his parents as much as possible lately. Still, he was surprised that Dean had opened up like that. In the few weeks he had known the other man, he had never known Dean to say more than two sentences at a time. And they were hardly ever serious. Dean was much more of a listener and a reactor than someone who talks about himself.

 

“I see. Well, I actually brought something for the party…” Castiel said, pulling a handful of joints Gabriel had given him out of his pants pocket.

 

“Is that pot?”

 

“Yes… yes, it is.”

 

X X X

 

Cas sat in the kitchen, watching his ‘party favors’ being passed around and lit. Dean had already had a few puffs off of one and was handing it off to Ash.

 

“M’gonna go for a swim.” Dean said to the room at large, slipping out of the room and through the house. Cas watched him go, hesitating when Ruby shot him a ‘don’t do it’ look, but eventually following.

 

Dean was already in his boxers and jumping in the pool when Castiel came outside. He made a large splash when he hit the water and Cas cheered. When he resurfaced he beckoned to Castiel. “C’mon in, Cas.”

 

Cas’s stomach fluttered. “Uh… kay.” He started to take off his clothes, fumbling fingers having a hard time of it. Once he was finally stripped down to his undies he lowered himself into the water. It was nice and cold, a relief on such a hot night.

 

“You got any more of that wacky tobacky?”

 

“Pot? Yes, at home. More than I will ever need.” He said, silently cursing Gabriel. “Why?

 

“Mm, we should make pot brownies. Or cookies or somethin.” Dean said. “Have you ever done that before?”

 

“I have not. My culinary adventures have not yet brought me to the world of marijuana desserts.”

 

“I think you mean trippin’ treats.” Dean corrected him, causing Cas to laugh so hard his head reseeded underwater for a several seconds. Dean had to pull him back up to the surface and hold him still until he stopped giggling.

 

“Are you done now, giggles? It wasn’t that funny.”

 

“Yes it was. You don’t give yourself nearly enough credit, Dean.” Cas informed him.

 

This time it was Dean’s turn to laugh. But he quickly stopped when he realized Cas wasn’t joking. They were very close, faces inches apart, chests almost touching. Cas wanted to kiss Dean and he probably would have if Dean didn’t suddenly pull away. Clearing his throat, he said, “I’m gonna go get another drink.”

 

He got out of the pool, shaking his hair like a dog and snatching up a towel before going inside. Cas was left alone in the pool with only a spontaneous erection for company. “…shit.”

 

X X X

 

Once Castiel was tried off and back inside he found Dean against. He was standing by the record player, cradling a beer. Cas went over and stood near him, looking around the living room awkwardly. “Is that your step mom?” Cas asked, pointing at a framed picture of a glamorous red headed woman.

 

“Yep.” Dean confirmed. “I don’t think there’s any pictures of my mom in here. She died when I was in highschool.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Cas said sincerely.

 

Dean just shrugged, stepping closer into Castiel’s personal space. “Look at that big red hair. You’d never guess it’s a wig, would ya?”

Cas shook his head.

 

“Yeah… she had some kind of phychotic break and it all fell out. Never grew back.” Dean said, sighing. “I’m buzzed…”  He whispered. “Are you?”

 

“Yes.” Cas said back.

 

“Mm- I’m…” He trailed off, staring at Cas for a beat too long before looking away. “I’m gonna see what they’re doing in the kitchen, alright?”

 

“Alright.”

 

About two hours later a few people started to go home. Anna was completely wasted and Ruby offered her a ride home. Dean got a phone call around the time Cas was leaving. Cas couldn’t hear much but he knew that Dean was telling someone on the other end that everybody was leaving and to come over.

 

“Looks like we’re getting kicked out so that Deanie can get his freak on.” Someone muttered as they walked out past Castiel.

 

X X X

 

“BALTHAZAR IS BACK! BALTHAZAR IS BACK!” Garth hollered, running through the park like a mad man, Lisa Braeden from rides following closely behind him. (Usually the guys and gals from rides don’t fraternize with the games crowd, but Lisa dated Dean sophomore year of high school so she was nice to them.)

 

“Garth! Would you cool it? You don’t have to announce it to the whole amusement park.” Lisa snapped at him, trying to make him stop running.

 

“But- BALTHAZAR IS BACK!” He shouted, spotting Dean and Castiel talking by the bottle rings game. “DEAN! CAS! HEY! BALTHAZAR IS BACK.”

 

“We heard you the first five times.” Dean grumbled as Garth approached.  He was in a mood today and Cas had been trying to cheer him up.

 

“Who- Dare I ask- Is Balthazar?” Cas sighed.

 

Garth stared at him like this was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

 

“That’s Balthazar.” Ruby said, appearing out of nowhere and pointing to a tall handsome man coming around the corner wearing a ‘rides’ t-shirt that he had cut a deep V neck into.

 

Anna appeared beside Ruby and let out a low whistle, pretending to fan herself. “Look at the shape of that ass… He’s build like a fucking God.”

 

“I know…” Lisa agreed dreamily.

 

Castiel just nodded, salivating a little as he watched Balthazar talk to a group of fellow rides operators. All of them were practically falling over themselves.

 

“All the girls want him. All the guys wanna be him.” Dean said, sounding unimpressed. 

 

“Oh my god. Oh my god. He’s coming over here guys. Be cool. BE COOL.” Garth said, practically hyperventilating.

 

“Okay man. We’ll all try to keep it together.” Dean said sarcastically.

 

Castiel stared stupidly as the godlike young man swaggered over to their group, giving everyone a charming smile.

 

“Hi Balthazar.” Ruby said quietly.

 

“Hey, Ruby. Hi Dean, Lisa…” Balthazar said cheerfully. Castiel wanted to melt. No one had mentioned the dude was _British._ “…Everyone else.” He chuckled.

 

“I didn’t think you’d be back this summer.”

 

“Ah, man. I wish I wasn’t. I had my whole summer planned out. I was going to go to Cali and hang out with some buddies of mine for a month, sleep all day, party all night. Then travel to see my family in England once I got all tanned, make them all jealous.” He chuckled at his own joke. “But my traveling companions bailed on me, and then my dad got injured and so I’ve been helping him recover. Now I’m back at fucking Kripkeland.” Balthazar sighed.

 

“I’m sorry to hear about that! My mom has shingles!” Garth choked out, his voice shrill and nervous.

 

Balthazar looked appalled. “Oh… Alright.” There was a long, awkward silence in which Castiel caught Balthazar’s eye and smiled. Balthazar smiled back. “Hello. I’m Balthazar.”

 

Castiel smiled wider, suddenly feeling more confident. “I’m Castiel. You can call me Cas.”

 

“Cas…” Balthazar said, a flicker of recognition passing over his face. “No shit. I heard you lost a giant ass panda at knife point.”

 

“Did you?” Castiel blushed. “I guess… My legend proceeds me.”

 

Balthazar blinked. “Pardon?”

 

“Uh- nothing. It’s nice to meet you Balthzar.”

 

“You too, Castiel. Well, I’d better get to my ride. Don’t want Ellen bitching me out on my first day back.” Balthazar said, winking at Cas. “Cheers.”

 

X X X

 

Ruby met up with Castiel outside after work. He was sitting on the curb with a notepad, scribbling down numbers.

 

“Hey, Castiel.”

 

“Hello.” Cas mumbled. “I cannot believe how inadequate my paycheck is. I’ve been working doubles all week…”

 

“Well we are doing the work of pathetic, lazy morons.” Ruby sighed, sitting on the ground next to her friend.

 

Castiel looked up from his notepad and laughed. “You have a very dark way of looking at things.”

 

“That’s what happens when you’ve worked here for five years in a row.” Ruby said matter-of-factly. Everyone had already left the park and the rides were in the process of being turned off, leaving nothing but the obnoxious background music playing.

 

“Ugh, they play this song like forty times a day…” Cas complained, rubbing his temples where he could feel a migraine coming on. “It’s horrible.”

 

“Fucking sadists.” Ruby agreed.

 

Dean came shuffling out the gates, his bag slung over his shoulder. “Need a ride, Cas?”

 

“Sure.” Cas agreed, smiling brightly. Ruby sighed, but didn’t say anything as Cas jumped up and followed Dean to his car. “I made you a mix tape.” He said, slightly embarrassed.

 

“Really? People still do that?” Dean asked.

 

“Yeah. Well, I know your car only takes cassettes, soo…” Cas pulled the tape out of his pants pocket and gave it to Dean.

 

Dean grinned. “This is awesome, Cas. Thanks.” He said sincerely, the faintest hint of a blush on his face. “You wanna grab a drink or somethin’? I know this great bar…  Crossroads.”

 

Castiel agreed whole-heartedly and Dean started to drive.

 

X X X

 

The bar was not overly crowed, and they had a live cover band playing which Cas thought was cool even though they were horrible. Dean ordered a two beers and Cas ordered a few shots before switching over to beer himself. They were laughing, talking, having a good time and then the conversation somehow turned over to relationships.

 

“Well, I recently got my heart broken…” Cas confessed.

 

“That sucks, man. Who broke your heart?”

 

“Guy at school… I was certain there was something there… That we had something special between us and he got scared. Do you know what I mean?”

 

“Scared of what?”

 

“Scared of it… being good. Having a good committed relationship.”

 

“Mm.” Dean hummed, taking a sip of his beer. “Was the sex good?”

 

“He-“ Cas faltered. “He was very sexy.”

 

“…Have you been with many guys?” Dean asked, shifting in his seat. Cas figured he was awkward. Usually people got uncomfortable when Castiel talked about his sexuality.

 

“W-well…Are we talking about incourse?”

 

“Duh.” Dean laughed.

 

Cas cleared his throat. “Yeah, well… in that case, no. There were a few times where I could’ve done that but it didn’t feel right.”

 

Dean’s eyes grew comicly large. “Wait, so you’re telling me you’re a virgin?”

 

“There- there were circumstances… that… um…” Castiel fumbled, blushing.

 

“Oh my god.” Dean said, amazed. “You’re a virgin. You’re older than me, dude, that’s crazy.”

 

“Look, I’ve just never been in love enough to… For example, this one guy I was dating my senior year in high school, James, we’d been together for about seven months and then one day I was reading this Shakespeare sonnet and he was so passionate… and I just realized I didn’t love him. I had never felt even remotely as passionate about James as Shakespeare did about this person. So I drove over to his house to break up with him, and I get there and before I can even say anything, he says he wants to have sex. Isn’t that ridiculous?”

 

“You didn’t just fuck him anyways?” Dean asked, seeming almost surprised.

 

“No way. No.” Castiel said firmly, shaking his head. “So… what about you? How many times have you had intercourse?”

 

“Can you _stop_ saying intercourse?” Dean laughed.

 

“Sure.” Castiel agreed.

 

Dean sighed. “I dunno, man… There were people in high school and then… there were other ones.”

 

“Oh… Were you in love with any of them?”

 

Dean chuckled. “No. Hell no.”

 

“I see.” Castiel said, taking a long drink from his beer bottle. When he looked up again he noticed Nick Munroe walking in. “Oh, look, it’s Nick. Hey, Nick!” Cas waved.

 

Nick smiled and walked over, holding hands with a pretty blonde girl. “Hey, guys.”

 

“Hi, Nick. Fancy seeing you here.” Dean said quietly.

 

“C’mon, Dean. Everyone knows this is my joint.” Nick said without really looking at Dean. “Cas, this is my wife, Meg. Meg, this is Castiel and Dean. They work at the park.”

 

“Hi there.” Meg said.

 

“Hey.” Dean replied coolly.

 

“We’re gonna go meet with some friends in the back. Good seein’ you, Cas.” Nick said, waving goodbye before pulling the girl away and disappearing into the small crowd of people.

 

“Wow, so that was Nick’s wife… I didn’t even know he was married.” Cas commented. “She’s really pretty.”

 

“Yeah, she is.” Dean agreed. “But she works at that lame ass club… Men of Letters or whatever it’s called. It’s kinda sad.”

 

“Really? I’ve never heard of it.”

 

“No, I mean their marriage is sad.” Dean corrected. “Nick doesn’t seem happy, ya’know?”

 

“Oh… I didn’t notice…” Cas said quietly, frowning at how serious Dean looked.

 

X X X

 

They left the bar not long after. Dean seemed agitated and grumpy and Cas kinda just wanted to go home.

 

They didn’t talk. Instead they listened to the mix tape Cas had made for Dean (mostly rock ballads) and let their minds wander off. One song in particular made Dean’s eyes mist over and Cas would have made fun of his friend for getting emotional if he didn’t look so sad.

 

“Hey, can you pull over?” Cas asked, changing his mind about going home and getting some sleep. This seemed more important.

 

“Yeah.” Dean nodded, discretely wiping his eyes. “Are you gonna hurl or somethin’?”

 

Cas shook his head. “Just pull over.” Dean did as he was told and they both got out of the car, meeting in the front.

 

“What’s going on C-“ Dean tried to say, but his words were silenced by Castiel’s lips on his own. Dean pulled back, surprise etched into every inch of his face. For a moment Cas thought he was going to push him away, tell him to never do that again, call him a faggot… But then, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck. “Okay, then.” He muttered, going in for another kiss which Cas responded to enthusiastically.

 

X X X

 

“…You made out?” Ash asked, incredulous.

 

“Yes. For almost an hour.” Castiel confirmed excitedly. “I don’t know what came over me... It was incredible.”

 

“Wow…” Ash frowned. “Well, good for you, man… I gotta go open my booth.”

 

Cas frowned at Ash’s un-enthusiasm. Did _everyone_ have a problem with Dean? “Okay. And hey! Don’t tell Ruby, alright?”

 

“Sure thing, man.”

 

X X X

 

“Ugh, this fucking song again.” Castiel groaned, looking over at Nick who was once again fixing the turning mannequin game. “Will you kill me? Please? I cannot listen to this song anymore.”

 

“Nope. I won’t kill you.” Nick muttered. “But I’ll let you have the beer in my tool box if you want.”

 

“What? Really?” Cas asked, going over and opening the tool box.

 

“Sure. Just be cool about it okay?”

 

Castiel nodded confirmation and grabbed the beer can. He sat on the ground and watched Nick work. “This game breaks more than anything else in the entire park.”

 

“Yeah. Well, at least it gives me something to do…”

 

Cas hummed.

 

“So, were you and Dean on a date last night?” Nick asked casually.

 

“I wouldn’t call it a date exactly…” Cas shrugged, tapping the sides of the can before cracking it open.

 

“You’re not into him?”

 

“No… No, I mean- Dean is great and I really like him but I’m not sure if I’m ready for a relationship right now.” Cas clarified, taking a sip of beer. “I’m sort of getting over a broken heart.”

 

“…Did you tell him that?” Nick asked.

 

“Why do you ask?”

 

“Oh jeez, Castiel. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a dude or a chick, you never talk about your ex’s. No one wants to hear that the guy they’re into is brokenhearted.”

 

“They don’t?” Cas cringed.

 

“No, buddy. They don’t” Nick said, getting to his feet and flicking the switch that turns on the rotator. The game started up with a groan and Nick smiled. “There ya go. It’s all fixed.”

 

“Th-thanks…” Cas said absentmindedly.

 

X X X

 

The gang was hanging out in the arcade after work a few weeks later. They had handed their booths over to the people on the next shift and a few of the kid rides were being turned off for maintenance so the room was pretty packed full of people in need of air conditioning and entertainment. Garth and Ash were battling it out on some two player shooter while Anna and Lisa where playing a dance game not far off while Castiel and Ruby watched. Castiel was laughing at Anna, who had just done about eight wrong steps in a row, when Ruby nudge him in the ribs.

 

“What?” Cas asked, looking down at her.

 

Ruby nodded her head in the direction of the entrance to the arcade. When Cas looked up he saw Nick come in and walk over to Dean who gave him a small, almost shy smile.

 

“What?” Cas repeated, confused as to why Ruby found this so significant. “Why are we watching Nick?”

 

“Just pay attention, would you?” Ruby grumbled.

 

Cas did as he was told, watching the two men interact. Nick said something that was apparently funny because Dean smiled. Dean looked around the arcade and locked eyes with Cas for a moment before turning back to Nick and saying something no one else could hear. “They’re talking.” Cas said, bored. “So what?”

 

Ruby just rolled her eyes.

 

Someone tapped Cas on the shoulder and he turned, grinning when he saw Balthazar. “Hello, Cas.”

 

“Hello.” Cas said, standing up straighter and fidgeting a little. “What’s up?”

 

“I uh- Heard you might have some weed?” Bal said, lowering his voice.

 

Cas almost laughed out loud. “Great. Now I’m the stalwart weed guy.”

 

Balthazar cocked an eyebrow. “The… what?”

 

“Nothing. Yes, I have a stash.”

 

“Great. I was hoping you could… hook me up.” The brit smiled his bright white smile and Cas nodded.

 

“Of course.”

 

X X X

 

Balthazar drove Cas home to pick up a few joints and then they headed to a park. They sat on the swigs and smoked and started talking and Cas felt like he was lighter than air.

 

“So how is your dad doing?” Cas asked.

 

“Miserable. Not working is driving him mad so naturally he has to take it out on us. Prick.”

 

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Balthazar hummed and took a long drag from his joint. “Do you believe in God?”

 

Cas was taken aback. “Uhh… I don’t know. Theology isn’t brought up much around here.”

 

“Huh?” Bal asked, wrinkling his nose cutely.

 

“Weird question.” Cas clarified.

 

“Yeah, I suppose. But seeing someone you love in pain makes you think about things like that.”

 

Castiel nodded seriously. “I believe in love. I mean- I think that love is very transferable- I mean transformative. Love makes things transform.”

 

Balthazar giggled like a school girl and Cas joined him although he wasn’t sure what was so funny. “I’m so high.” Bal wheezed.

 

“Shit, me too.” Cas laughed. “And I still have to go home and deal with my parents.”

 

X X X

 

The next day was the 4th of July and Bobby and Ellen were running around the park putting up red white and blue banners and trying to excite everyone so that they would buy stuff. Dean and Castiel found it particularly hilarious since neither of the adults were particularly perky.

 

“I don’t even celebrate the 4th. I celebrate bastille day.” Cas informed his friends, Dean and Ruby, as they sat in front of one of the rides holding Independence Day-theme signs and trying to look excited. The sun had set almost an hour ago and Cas really wanted to leave but they had all signed up for extra hours that day so they were stuck there for a while longer.

 

“Well aren’t you a special snowflake.” Ruby said sarcastically.

 

“What’s bastille day?” Dean asked.

 

“It’s like… French Independence day.” Ruby explained.

 

“Essentially.” Cas agreed.

 

Dean gave him a handsome lopsided smile and Cas’ heart throbbed a little. He had spent all day in complete inner turmoil because he really liked Dean, but everyone seemed to think dating him was a horrible idea. Plus there was Balthazar, who was somehow even more charming than Dean, and equally good-looking and everyone was in love with… who for some reason had taken an interest in Castiel of all people.

 

“Hello everyone.”

 

Speak… well, _think_ of the devil.

 

“Hey Balthazar.” Dean said.

 

“How are you, Cas? How did it go with your parents last night?” Balthazar asked, standing close to Castiel.

 

“Uh- shitty. My mom tried to convince me not to go to Columbia. She said it made more sense to local grad school.” Cas said, annoyed. “After making such a big fuss last year about me going to an ivy league school… Like, oh, I don’t know, the one I’ve already been accepted to. She said she was just trying to be pragmatic but it’s fucking bullshit.”

 

Balthazar nodded, his eyes slightly glazed over.

 

“Parents, right?” Cas huffed, smiling.

 

“Aint that the truth.” Dean agreed.

 

Balthazar nodded again. “Well, I came to say they are about to do fireworks so you should come watch them.”

 

“We’re holding signs…” Cas said glumly.

 

“Fuck the signs, let’s go see some fireworks.” Ruby said, tossing her sign on the ground and jogging off. Dean followed her lead and Balthazar took Cas’s hand.

 

“Let’s go.” The brit said.

 

Cas submitted willingly.

 

X X X

 

Dean brought Cas back to his place after they got off work and they were making out on the couch when they heard the front door open. Dean quickly pushed Cas away and sat up. Cas was bewildered, but then realized why the other boy had pushed him away when a middle aged man with dark hair and a pretty ginger walked in.

 

“Hi dad.” Dean said awkwardly, giving Cas an apologetic look.

“Hey Dean.” The man said shortly.

 

“Who’s this?” The red head asked.

 

“Castiel Novak, ma’am.” Cas said, waving at them but not daring to stand up because of the rock hard boner in his pants.

 

“Hello. I’m Abby, this is John, nice to meet you.”

 

“Likewise.”

 

“I’m gonna go upstairs and get some work done.” John gruffed.

 

“Okay party pooper.” Abby said, giving a huge fake smile.

 

“Night dad.” Dean sighed.

 

Abby still had that big stupid smile on her face as she looked at the two boys on the couch. “We just came from the Robinson’s party. Their daughter Cassie is so _sweet_. She said you used to date.”

 

Dean nodded uncomfortably. “Yeah, for a little while in junior high.”

 

“Why ever did you break up with that girl? Did you know she’s in _law school_ now?”

 

“No, I didn’t. All I know is that she once sexually assaulted our cat with a ballpoint pen.” Dean said, clearly annoyed.

 

Abby looked horrified. “ _Why_ do you have to talk like that?”

 

Dean rolled his eyes and got up from the couch, storming out to the backyard. Cas got up and followed, sliding the glass door shut behind him.

 

“I can’t believe my dad wants to be with that… that bitch.” Dean growled, pacing back and forth beside the pool. “ _‘Why ever did you break up with her?’_ What the hell does she know?”

 

Cas bit his lip and shrugged.

 

“Do you wanna know something fucked up? When my mom was dying my dad started going to church again… He’s never been serious about god before but he decided that desperate times call for desperate measures. As if it was going to help save my mom…” Dean scoffed. “And that’s where he met Abbadon. My mom loses her hair in chemo and my dad starts having a fucking affair with a bald woman. Like… what the fuck?” Dean said, his voice breaking. Cas stepped forward to comfort him but Dean just shrugged him off. It was obvious he was trying really hard not to cry.

 

 X X X

 

“Hey! Castiel!” Nick called, jogging up to Cas and breaking him out of his trance. He had been staring at Balthazar who was dancing in nothing but a bathing suit and holding a sign that advertised the amusement park’s one and only water ride. “You off for the day?”

 

Cas nodded. “Yep, my shift just ended.”

 

“Cool, cool… got any of those joints on ya?”

 

“Yeah, I do.” Cas sighed. He had started bringing one or two around with him since the word got out that he was the go-to guy.

 

“Cool. Take a ride with me, I gotta go see my mom and then I’ll take you home, okay?”

 

And that’s how Cas ended up in Nick’s car, handing him a lit joint while they drove across town to his mother’s house. “Is your mother okay?”

 

“Yeah, she’s probably fine. She’s real dramatic.”

 

Cas nodded understandingly and they just sat for a minute, listening to the radio. “This is a good song.”

 

“Yeah, it’s ACDC.” Nick said, taking a puff from the joint.

 

“I know. Dean turned me on to them.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Mhm.” Cas nodded. “You know… you still haven’t told me your ACDC story.”

 

Nick laughed. “I will later. So… How is it going with Dean?”

 

“It’s going very well.” Cas said, smiling stupidly. “I think I might love him.”

 

Nick took another long drag from the joint. “…Cool. I’m glad.”

 

They pulled up outside of a rundown house and Nick got out and went inside, leaving Cas to wait on him.

 

X X X

 

That night Anna called Cas’s house and invited him to go to Men of Letters, a dance club down town that Cas remembered Dean mentioning once or twice. More importantly he remembers Dean saying it sucked, but Anna begged and begged until he finally agreed.

 

Ruby and Anna picked him up less than an hour later and they all headed to the club. Dean showed up half way into the night along with a few other people from Kripkeland. Balthazar, for example.

 

The four of them, Ruby, Anna, Castiel and Dean, all sat down in the lounge area and Nick’s wife, Meg brought them drinks.

 

“So, what are you majoring in, Ruby?” Anna asked.

 

“Ancient history and languages.” Ruby said, doing a shot.

 

“Wow that’s interesting.”

 

“What kind of carrier track is that?” Dean asked.

 

Ruby sighed. “None. Basically.”

 

Anna laughed a bit but everyone else realized they it totally wasn’t a joke. “Umm… Let’s dance, Ruby!” She said awkwardly, taking the other girl’s hand and pulling her up.

 

“That sounds fun. Let’s go, too.” Cas suggested.

 

Dean was reluctant but eventually allowed Cas to pull him onto the dance floor. Cas worked his moves, using some things he had learn from his two years on dance lessons and spinning Dean all of the place. “Woah, you really know what you’re doing, huh?” Dean laughed.

 

“Oh yes. You can thank Mrs. Birda for this.”

 

“Well, thanks Mrs. Birda.” Dean chuckled as he was spun around again.

 

“Nice moves, Castiel.” Balthazar said, appearing beside him and giving him a flirty smile.

 

“Oh, thanks Bal.” Cas blushed.

 

X X X

 

Anna was completely waisted by the time they left the club (at around 3am) and Cas was thankful that it was a Friday and he didn’t have to work tomorrow because he was probably going to be hung over as fuck.

 

They went to waffle house and ate and they waitresses were pissed and annoyed with them because they were all being very loud and giggly. The sun started coming up at 5:30 so they left the waffle house and went to an empty lot so they could hang out some more since nowhere was open yet. Dean and Cas sat on the hood of the Impala and talked while Anna and Ruby made out in the back seat.

 

“Hey…” Cas said drunkenly. “I think Ruby is a lesbian.”

 

“You think?” Dean asked sarcastically.

 

“Yes.” Cas nodded. “And- I think you’re incredible…”

 

Dean looked at Castiel sadly. “Cas…"

 

"No, like... What are we? What am I to you?"

 

"Dunno." Dean shrugged slowly and bit his lip. "Look, there’s a lot of shit in- in my life. And I can’t be… I’m just not ready for this, man… We need to take it slow, okay?”

 

Cas bit his tongue and nodded, feeling crushed. “…Okay. I understand.”

 

“I'm sorry, Cas."


	3. We’re Catholic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Some homophobic language and violence.
> 
> Enjoy

Cas spent a few days moping, wishing he had been subtler, fallen in love a little slower… But in the end, feeling bad wouldn’t come to anything. So he put on a happy face when he went in to work on Monday and tried to feel good about the possibilities he still had.

 

Dean wasn’t willing to label whatever it was they had between them, but that didn’t necessarily mean that it was over. Right?

 

And even if Dean did want to end things…

 

“Hey, Castiel, can you help me with this?” Balthazar called to him from a few feet away. He was struggling to move a cheesy pirate wax figure over to the pirate ship ride.

 

Cas jogged over and lifted up one side while Bal took the other, quickly but carefully moving it into place. “My god, this thing is ugly.” Cas muttered as he stood back to look at it.

 

“You can say that again.” Balthazar agreed, giving Cas one of his award winning smiles. “Thanks for the hand, mate.”

 

“Not a problem.” Cas smiled back. “Hey, how’s your dad doing?”

 

“He’s hanging in there.”

 

“Still not working?” Castiel asked as they started to walk together.

 

“Afraid not.” Balthazar sighed, walking up to the rollercoaster he was stationed at today. An extremely nervous girl, Becky, was waiting for him. “Oh no…”

 

“Hi Bal!” She chirped excitedly. “We’re working together today. Isn’t that great?”

 

Balthazar faked a smile. “Hi… Becky.”

 

“So my dad is finally letting get a car of my own. I’m totally excited. I’m hoping for something pink. Who’s this?” She asked, glancing at Castiel disapprovingly.

 

“I’m- Uh- Cas.” Castiel said, amazed by how fast the girl was moving her mouth.

 

Becky hadn’t waited for an answer. “So, Balthazar, do you want to go see Jimmy Eat World with me at civic arena? My bestie’s dad got me really good seats and-”

 

“Oh uhm, no thanks, Becky. Why don’t you take that Garth kid?” Bal interrupted, trying his best to be polite. “And can you grab the hose? Theirs some dried puke where people need to line up and we can’t have people stepping in it.”

 

Becky’s face fell. “You… You don’t like Jimmy Eat World?”

 

“I’m more of a No Doubt guy. And uh- I’m busy that night.” Bal said.

 

“I didn’t say what night…” Becky frowned.

 

Balthazar closed his eyes and looked physically pained. “What night?”

 

“Thursday night.”

 

“See, that’s what I thought.” Bal sighed. “Unfortunately, I’m going on a date with Cas on Thursday.”

 

Cas almost fell over. “You what?”

 

“That is, if he agrees…” Balthazar gave Cas an affectionate smile.

 

“I’d be honored.” Cas grinned back.

 

Becky looked between the two of them incredulously. “You’re joking, right? Tell me you’re joking.”

 

Balthazar shrugged apologetically and Becky burst into tears, running off.

 

“My god, will she be okay?” Cas asked, debating running after the upset girl.

 

“Yeah, she’ll survive.” Balthazar assured Cas, taking his hand and pulling him to the operating box for the ride. “You wanna push a button?” He practically purred in his fantastic accent.

 

Cas couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “No, no, I couldn’t… Alright, maybe just one. Which one should I push?” He asked, excitedly pushing a bright blue button without waiting for instruction. The ride came to life, spinning at top speed, the lights flashing and music blaring. Then there was a loud bang and him and Balthazar both shrieked and ducked down as smoke started to come out of his ride.

 

X X X

 

“Wow. You _really_ fucked up this machine.” Nick said from somewhere under the ride. He popped his head up from out of a hole where he had removed a panel.

 

“I know… It’s bad, isn’t it? This is why I’m on games.” Cas groaned, watching Nick grab some tools from his toolbox. “All I did was push a button.”

 

“Really? That’s it? I’m impressed.”

 

Cas groaned again and scooted closer to the open panel that Nick had just ducked back into. “Hey… Nick?”

 

“Mhm?” Nick grunted distractedly. 

 

“Balthazar just asked me out.”

 

“ _Balthazar?_ The one everyone is freaking out about? That Balthazar?”

 

“Yes, that Balthazar. I think he might have been doing it just to make Becky Rosen leave him alone but… I mean, I think he might actually want to date me.”

 

“So, do it. You’d be a fucking idiot not to go out with him. It’s Balthazar, he’s even hotter than me.”

 

“Yeah, but… What about Dean?”

 

“Are you having sex with Dean?” Nick asked, turning to look at Cas.

 

“We’re… taking things slow right now.”

 

Nick huffed a laugh. “So, no. Okay, look, when I meet a beautiful woman, I picture her underneath me. Naked. Don’t you? With… dudes, I mean.”

 

“What? No. No…”

 

“Come on. What about Balthazar? When you’re with him is it like every cell in your body is on fire?” Nick asked.

 

Cas cracked a small smile and Nick gave him a knowing look. “Alright, that’s a little hyperbolic but I understand what you mean.”

 

“That’s the way we’re wired, Cas. It’s the way we’re wired. It sucks but it’s just a fact of nature. It’s also tragic.”

 

Cas frowned a little at this. “My… Feelings for Dean are vast. And totally different than my feelings for Bal.”

 

Nick shrugged. “All I’m saying is picture it, man… Balthazar.”

 

“I know… Balthazar.” Cas sighed dreamily. “Balthazar.”

X X X

 

“Just go talk to her.” Dean encouraged. “It’s been almost a week.”

 

“What if she doesn’t remember it?” Ruby frowned, staring over at the back of Anna’s head.

 

“Trust me, she’ll remember.” Cas assured her.

 

“I know I’ll never get it out of my head.” Dean muttered.

 

Ruby bit lip. “Me either.” She sighed as she stood up. “Okay, I’m gonna talk to her.”

 

“Good for you.” Cas smiled, taking a bite out of the foot-long sub sandwich that Dean had bought for them.

 

“Wish me luck…” Ruby whispered, mustering all of her courage and strolling across the outside eating area to where Anna sat munching on a salad. “Hi, Anna.”

 

“Oh, hey…” Anna said in her sweet mild-mannered tone of voice.

 

“I brought you this.” Ruby said, fumbling for a moment before pulling a small paperback book out of her deep jacket pocket. “It’s one of my favorite authors. Russian. He lost his mind, burned the only copy of his final book, and died a week later due to self-starvation.”

 

Anna laughed. “You’re so dark.”

 

“I’ve been told that.” Ruby smiled.

 

“Well, thanks for the book…”

 

“Yeah, of course… Um… Do you wanna go see a shitty movie or something this weekend?”

 

Anna bit her lip. “Ruby I did something stupid. I kinda told my brother Michael that we made out…”

 

Ruby swallowed. “Uh huh?”

 

“Well… You see, he sorta told my parents.” Anna said. Ruby still look confused so she added, “ _We’re Catholic.”_

 

“You mean…?”

 

“Look, I’m in a lot of trouble at home right now and I can’t have you making things worse. I’m sorry.” Anna snapped, getting up from her table and walking away, leaving Ruby’s book behind.

 

Ruby grabbed the paperback and slowly walked back to Dean and Castiel’s table.

 

“Hey! How did it go?” Dean asked around a mouth full of sandwich.

 

“Really fucking shitty, that’s how it went.” Ruby grumbled.

 

“What happened?”

 

X X X

 

Dean spotted Anna with Lisa and a few other friends chatting in the arcade at the end of the day, his eyes narrowing.

 

“Please just leave it alone.” Ruby said.

 

“I can’t leave it alone. It’s bullshit, Ruby.” Dean growled, already starting to walk over to her.

 

“Don’t say anything. Trust me I’ve had worse rejections. It’s okay! Dean!”

 

Dean stomped over to the redhead. “Hi, Dean.” Lisa smiled. Dean ignored her.

 

“You know what, Anna? You don’t reserve to date Ruby. You are a picky, snobby little brat who couldn’t even handle one fight with your parents. You’re a coward and you are no longer my friend.” He hissed at her, then turned right back around and walked back to Ruby. “I hope we’re on the same side now.” He said to the brunette as he left the arcade.

 

Castiel was playing skeeball against the back wall and Ruby hurried over to him, grinning. “Hey.”

 

“Hello.” Cas smiled. “So, I’ve been meaning to tell you for days… I’m going out with Balthazar tomorrow night.”

 

Ruby’s eyebrow knitted together. “You… What?”

 

“I know, it’s crazy. He asked me out on Monday. The day I broke that ride.”

 

“But… I thought you were like _really_ into Dean.”

 

“I am… But I don’t know if he wants something serious or not and… I do.” Castiel said.

 

Ruby frowned at him. “Okay, Cas. Whatever.”

 

X X X

 

Castiel’s father let him borrow his car to pick up Bal. The restaurant wasn’t extremely fancy, but it was romantic. They sat down at a table in the corner with a red table cloth over it and a candle in the middle as well as some very nice fake flowers. Opera music was playing in the background and Castiel was completely transfixed by Balthazar who was wearing the tightest dress pants he had ever seen.

 

“Do you mind if we don’t tell a lot of people at the park about tonight?” Cas asked once their appetizers had come, fidgeting nervously with the napkin in his lap. “There’s this guy who is really interested in me and I don’t want to make him feel bad.”

 

“You mean Dean?” Balthazar asked knowingly.

 

“Y-yes.”

 

Balthazar chuckled. “Do you like working at the amusement park?”

 

“Well, I mean, I think it’s definitely character building for me and… I’ve made a lot of friends.” Cas smiled.

 

“Yeah, you and Ruby Cortese seem quite close.”

 

Cas nodded. “Yes, I like her. I think she’s really interesting. She’s a really dark soul.”

 

“And uh, what about you and Nick?”

 

“Nick’s great. He’s really cool and he seems like he knows what he’s doing, you know?”

 

“That man has got some problems if you ask me.” Bal scoffed.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Last summer I heard that he was having an affair with this girl from the snack bar. He used to take her to his mother’s basement to have sex with her. Isn’t that terrible? His mother’s basement.”

 

“But… He’s married.” Castiel said, scandalized. How could someone like Nick cheat on his wife? Cas really respected Nick and hearing these awful things about him made Castiel feel slightly ill.

 

“Doesn’t stop him from creeping on all the girls at the park. And a few of the guys. I swear he tried to come on to me last week. But I didn’t stick around long enough to find out because I heard that this year he…” Bal hesitated. “Well, it doesn’t matter. The point is, he’s trouble. I wouldn’t believe everything he says, alright?”

 

“Yeah… I never would have guessed. Thank you for telling me.”

 

“My pleasure.” Balthazar smiled.

 

X X X

 

Balthazar was lounging in the passenger seat of Cas’ car, smoking a joint and laughing at the billboards they passed on their way down the highway. He had just asked Cas what he wanted to do for a living, but the more Castiel talked, the more Bal’s eyes seemed to glazed over.

 

“I want to visit every continent. Every country. Charles Dickens wrote these really interesting travel pieces but he visited prisons and-“

 

“Would you rather have a sail boat or a speed boat?” Bal asked, watching a billboard for boating go past.

 

“Oh- Umm…”

 

“I think sailboats are like… way more cooler. They’re classic, ya’know... Though, I bet speedboats would be a lot more fun.” He giggled.  “What were you saying?”

 

“Um. Nothing… Just babbling.” Cas sighed.

 

 X X X

 

“Ugh… Shit, I hope my parents aren’t all over my ass when I go inside. M um will kill me if I smell like pot.” Bal sighed, fixing his hair and making sure his eyes weren’t bloodshot in the visor mirror. “Pull over here.” Cas pulled over in front of an upper middle class house with an unkempt yard. Balthazar unbuckled his seat belt and leaned across into Cas’s personal space, tilting his head back and baring his neck. “Do you smell pot?”

 

Cas swallowed thickly. He leaned in hesitantly and smelled Bal’s skin. “You smell amazing.” He whispered.

 

Bal chuckled and looked back down, meeting Cas’ gaze. “Thanks for a great evening, Cassie... We should do it again.”

 

“Yes, I agree…” Cas said, leaning in to kiss the other man. Balthazar reacted enthusiastically, cupping Castiel’s face in his hands and deepening the kiss. Their soft grunts filled the car and for a moment it seemed like Balthazar was going to crawl into Cas’ lap but he couldn’t move his legs because there was too much trash in the floorboards.

 

After a minute or two Bal pulled away and winked at Cas. “Until next time.”  

 

“Until next time…” Cas repeated, grinning.

 

Bal kissed him one more time and then got out of the car. Cas watched his ass in those insanely tight pants as he walked away.

 

X X X

 

“Hey, Cas.” Dean said, strolling over to Cas’ booth.

 

Cas smiled. “Hello, Dean. I was looking for you earlier.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Yes. I heard you called me last night… Sorry, I was out with some old friends from high school.”

 

“Sounds fun.” Dean said, giving Cas a kiss and then sitting down on the counter of the booth.

 

“It was. We stayed out late reminiscing… What were you calling about?” Cas asked.

 

Dean cleared his throat. “Oh, um… Really I just wanted to say sorry. I feel like I was a jerk to you last week. And I want you to know that I still like you..”

 

“That’s okay. We were both very drunk…”

 

Dean sighed and smiled sadly. “Yeah.”

 

“Umm… I brought you something.” Cas said, leaving for a moment to retrieve something from his jacket. He came back with a small paper bag, which he handed to Dean.

 

“You got me a bag.” Dean said with mock-amazement.

 

“What’s inside the bag?” Cas laughed.

 

Dean opened it and grinned. “There’s about ten joints in here.”

 

“It’s so you can make pot cookies.” Castiel explained, his heart swelling with affection when Dean grinned excitedly.

 

X X X

 

On Monday night Dean broke out the pot cookies. Dean, Cas and Ruby were all doing their second shift for the day and were ready to have some fun.

 

It wasn’t long before Bobby noticed Cas wasn’t himself. He sent him to be inspected by Ellen while he shut down Castiel’s booth; but Cas didn’t report to Ellen. Instead, he went over to Ruby’s booth (she was working the rotating mannequins today) and found that Dean was already there helping. They were both giggling like idiots and struggling to pick up the baseballs that were rolling around on the floor where they had landed after the customers threw them.

 

“Come on! I need more balls!” Shouted an angry customer who was trying to win a giant ass panda for his wife.

 

“He says he needs balls.” Cas said, hopping over the counter to help his friends.

 

“The customer is always right.” Ruby giggled, standing up and dumping three baseballs on the counter. “Here ya go, sir.”

 

Cas bend down and helped Dean put the rest of the loose balls into a bucket so they couldn’t escape. Castiel stood right as the man threw a ball at the mannequins and it almost hit Cas in the face. He shrieked and ducked down right as the guy threw another. It hit the mannequin right in the hat, but as it was glued on, it didn’t budge.

 

“Hey! I hit that thing dead on!” The man shouted.

 

“And yet it stands strong.” Ruby laughed.

 

The customer growled and threw his last ball at Castiel who dodged it just in time but accidentally knocked into one of the mannequins and broke it in half. It was now just rotating legs; the upper body laying broken on the ground.

 

Cas struggled to his feet and picked up the mannequin torso by the hat, accidentally revealing to the angry customer that it was glued on. “What the hell what that for?” He groaned.

 

“What the fuck? It’s glued on! The fucking hat was glued on!” The yelled, jumping over the counter.

 

“Congratulations we have a winner!” Ruby cackled, almost doubling over with laughter.

 

“What is so fucking funny?!” The angry man yelled, getting up in Ruby’s space.

 

“Your face.” She laughed. She was laughing so hard she didn’t see the man pull back and push her in the jaw.

 

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Dean shouted as Ruby fell over. “You can’t just do that! You can’t hit a girl like that! Do you want me to call the cops?”

 

“I know who you are, Winchester.” The man spat. “You’re all talk but everyone knows what a harmless little slut you are.” He said, shoving Dean violently.

 

Cas pushed the man away from Dean. “Get away from him! Don’t fucking touch him. You need to leave.”

 

“Oh? And are you gonna make me _, faggot?”_

 

Cas tackled the man to the ground, hitting him over the head with one of the baseballs. “You’re dead!” One of the guy’s friends shouted, leaping over the counter to get Castiel, who bolted out the back of the booth and through the park with the guy on his heels. The ran past the spinning flashing ride that he broke on Monday, the marry-go-round, the pirate ship ride, the bigger rollercoasters. He ran all the way to offices and busted through the door that said manager.

 

“Bobby, help. People are trying to kill me.”

 

Bobby sighed and got up from his desk. Ellen handed him a metal baseball bat on his way out the door. Cas raced to the window to watch.

 

“Get outta my doorway! Get outta my fucking doorway ya’ idjit!” Bobby yelled, raising the bat threateningly. The guy started to back away. “Do you want a face full of aluminum?! Huh?! Fucking test me! Gimme a reason I dare ya!”

 

The guy turned and ran, yelling behind him. “You’re fucking crazy, man!”

 

Bobby lowered the bat and walked back to the office. “Thank you so much, Bobby.” Cas said, relieved.

 

“It happens more than you’d think.” The old man grunted.

 

X X X

 

Cas went back to the booth but it was empty. Dean had already taken Ruby to the doctor’s tent. She was okay, apart from the bruised face and bloody nose. Their shifts were almost over anyways so the three friends decided to just leave. Ruby got a ride home with Garth and Dean pulled Cas around the outside of the park until they came to a door in the fence. Dean pushed it open and pulled Cas through. It was a small lot filled with old signs for games, spare parts, scaffolding… Storage for the maintenance workers. On the other side of the lot was a small building, presumably for more storage.

 

“What is this place?”

 

Dean smiled. “You’ve never been to this part of the park before?”

 

“No.” Cas shook his head.

 

“Hey so… thanks for standing up for me back there.” Dean said softly.

 

“Of course.” Cas smiled. “It was no big deal.”

 

“No, it was… It was really hot watching you take down that guy.”

 

“It was?”

 

Dean huffed a little laugh, his breath blowing on Cas’ face as Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck. “I thought it was. But then again, I’m suuuper stoned.” He giggled, leaning in and locking lips with Castiel. Cas smiled into the kiss, resting his hands on Dean’s hips. “I don’t wanna lose you.” Dean whispered when they came up for air, worrying his bottom lip.

 

Cas didn’t know how to answer, so his just kissed him again and hoped that that was enough to assure Dean that he wouldn’t.

 

X X X

 

“Hey, Cas!” Bobby called, jogging to catch up with Castiel who was on his way to get lunch during his break.

 

“I was just on my way to lunch, sir.”

 

“Are you looking to pick up some extra shifts?” Bobby asked, wheezing slightly.

 

“Yes, sir.” Cas nodded.

 

“Good, because Ruby quit this morning.”

 

Castiel’s mouth dropped out in stock. “What? She did?” 

 

“Yep. Probably on account of the unfortunate event that happened on Friday night.”

 

“Shit…”

 

“Alright, well you can go ahead and take her second shift tomorrow. Oh, and don’t eat the corn dogs. They are of a questionable expiration date.” Bobby said, patting Cas on the back and leaving.

 

“Shit!” Cas growled, kicking a trash can which did nothing but hurt his foot.

 

X X X

 

That evening when he got off work he went to Ruby’s house. The sun was setting by the time he got there and he had to ring the doorbell three times before anyone answered.

 

“What are you doing here?” Ruby sighed by way on greeting, stepping out onto the porch with Castiel.

 

“You didn’t answer my calls I was worried.” Cas frowned, trying not to stare at the side of her face that was almost completely black and blue. “Can I come in?”

 

“I can’t let you see the inside of my house. The vial plastic slip covers… the floral wall paper… countless oil paints of dogs.” Ruby said, sounding disgusted. “Just go around to the back yard. We can talk there.”

 

Ruby met him in the back and she set up some fold out lawn chairs for them to sit in.

 

“Do you want a beer?” Ruby asked, sitting down in her fold out chair.

 

“No thanks. Is it because of Anna? …Why you quit?”

 

“Cas, look at me. I’m a lesbian. And my family is poor. She’s a good straight Catholic girl with a good family… I never had any grand expectations with her.”

 

“Not all girls are bitches like Anna. You’ll find someone. Just like I found Dean.”

 

“Dean?” Ruby scoffed. “So you’re back on Dean now? God, Cas, you don’t even appreciate what you have. You’re chasing after Balthazar when you have this incredible, handsome guy right in fucking front of you.”

 

“You didn’t even like Dean a few weeks ago! You’re the one who told me not to get involved with him!” Cas said defensively.

 

“Fuck this, I’m going inside.” Ruby said, getting up and walking back towards her house. “And for the record, I didn’t quit because of Anna! I quit because I am so fucking sick of the drama in that damned amusement park!” 

 

X X X

 

The next day Cas came into work early to see Dean.

 

“Hey, you.” Dean smiled when he saw Cas coming. “I thought you weren’t working until tonight?”

 

“Dean I need to tell you something.” Cas said in a rush and Dean’s face fell.

 

“What?”

 

“Last week I went on a date with Balthazar. He asked me out and it was nothing… I mean… we kissed a little at the end of the date but- nothing else.” Cas confessed, watching Dean closely for a reaction.

 

“Right… No intercourse?” Dean said, mocking Cas for his favoring of the word.

 

Cas huffed an awkward laugh and nodded. “No intercourse… I’m really sorry, Dean. But it’s just- we never talked about being exclusive and I don’t want to go out with Balthazar again. You’re the one I lo- want. We’ll both be in New York at the end of the summer and I want to still be going out with you then. I want to get to know you better if-if you want to get to know me better as well...”

 

“Cas, you don’t owe me anything.” Dean said softly.

 

“I know. But I want to owe you things. I’m ready to owe you things. Because I really, really care about you.” Dean stood at him, staring, his mouth slightly open. “…Are you mad at me?”

 

“No… I’m not mad.” Dean said honestly, shrugging a little and running his hands through his hair. “Thanks for telling me about Balthazar that’s really cool of you. Um- My shift is over so I have to go…”  He said, grabbing his bag and quickly leaving the booth.

 

“Dean…” Cas called after him, feeling confused and worried.

 

X X X 

 

Dean left the amusement park feeling slightly panicked. Cas’s words were still ringing in his ears. He really, really liked Castiel. He liked Cas so much it was kinda scary. He was nice and cute and funny… He actually treated Dean like a person… And he was honest. God, honesty was such a rare quality in guys. Dean knew, no matter what, he couldn’t let Cas slip through his fingers. So, he drove to straight to the only place he could think of.

 

He parked the car across the street from the nice two story white house, cut off the impala and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, the red Camaro appeared and pulled into the driveway. Dean flashed his headlight a few times to signal to the man in the Camaro to come over. The man got out of his car and jogged across the street, looking around to make sure no one was watching. Dean rolled down the window.

 

“Are you crazy?! You can’t come here.” Nick Munroe hissed at Dean, looking back at his house.

 

Dean looked up at his lover with puffy eyes. “I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore. I’m starting to really fucking hate myself, ya’know?”

 

“Oh Jesus Christ…” Nick groaned. “Look, my wife probably heard my car but I’ll find an excuse- Uh… Meet me at my mom’s house, okay? We can talk there.”

 

Dean nodded. “Okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot Twist (that you probably saw coming)! Please leave me a comment and lemme know what you think. Last chapter will be up within the next few days. :)


	4. I'm a fucking idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! I apologize for any mistakes or grammatical errors, I didn't have much time to edit. Please leave feedback in the comments :) Enjoy!

Cas had been a complete wreck for the past two hours. Ever since Dean left he’s been questioning himself. He questioned the decision to tell Dean the truth. He questioned his choice in men. He questioned why he had agreed to go out with Balthazar in the first place. He questioned listening to Nick. Why had he done that again? Oh yeah, because he looked up to Nick. He trusted Nick. Nick was this cool older guy who played with famous rock bands and had a gorgeous wife. He was everything Castiel wished he was. Minus the wife. But after what Balthazar had said about him…

 

But could Bal really be trusted? He was just a popular, gossipy gay man. Maybe it wasn’t even true.

 

“Castiel!! Castiel!!!!” Crowley yelled, running towards him and dragging Garth behind. “Asstiel, you’ve gotta hear this.” 

 

“What? What’s going on?” Cas asked, looking back and forth between the two men and instinctively covering his groin in case Crowley was trying to prank him.

 

“Garth, tell Cassie here what you just told me.”

 

Garth frowned and fidgeted. “Umm… My mom’s shingles cleared up.”

 

“No, not that!” Crowley said, impatiently slapping Garth on the back of the head. “The thing about Dean.”

 

“What about Dean? Did something happen?” Cas asked, his eyes widening in distress.

 

Garth took a deep breath, rubbing the back of his head. “I saw Dean and Nick the back of Dean’s car.”

 

“Tell him what they were doing, you moron.” Crowley persisted.

 

“They were… uh… aggressive cuddling. Doing the downward dog... You know.”

 

“What?” Cas frowned.

 

“They uh- They were doing the _horizontal mambo.”_ Garth said softly. “If you get my drift.”

 

“They were fucking!” Crowley practically shouted.

 

“When… When did you see this, Garth?” Cas said slowly, dread filling his stomach. “Not… Not today, right?”

 

“About two weeks ago.” Garth said.

 

“Why did you ask about today? Did something happen today?” Crowley asked, leaning into his personal space.

 

“Uh- I told him that I wanted to keep dating him after summer is over and he ran off.”

 

“I bet he ran to Nick, what do you think?”

 

Castiel made a face. “I’m not sure I believe any of this.”

 

Crowley shrugged. “Well there’s one way to find out, right? Do you know where he would’ve taken him?”

 

Cas called Dean’s house first but Abbadon informed him that he wasn’t at home. “Dean told me he would be going out with you tonight.” She said suspiciously.

 

“Uh, yes. We’re supposed to meet up but he’s not here yet.” Cas lied. “thank you for your time.” He hung up. “Alright, Crowley… Can you drive me somewhere?”

 

“Sure thing, Asstiel.”

 

X X X

 

Nick let Dean into the house and he walked into the living room while Nick poured whiskey for them both. “I don’t wanna drink.” Dean said, crossing his arms. “Did you know Cas went out with Balthazar last week?”

 

“Yeah. He told me but I wasn’t gonna rat him out.” Nick said, coming into the living room with his drink. “Will you sit down for a second? Please?”

 

“No, I can’t sit down. I can’t sit down because if I sit down you’re gonna sit down beside me and then you’re gonna touch me and say a bunch of soothing shit to change my mind. And then we’re gonna have sex. Because that’s always how this ends. And I’m done.” Dean said, trying to keep his voice steady.

 

“You’re really gonna throw away what we have for some wimpy little college kid?” Nick asked, his voice soothing.

 

“Nick…”

 

“Do you really want to end this, Dean? Yes or no.”

 

Dean let out a long breath and sat down on the couch.

 

X X X

 

Castiel and Crowley pulled up across the street from Nick’s mother’s house and they cut off the car. The impala was parked in the driveway.

 

“Shit…” Cas whispered. He felt like he was going to be sick.

 

“That’s Dean’s car, isn’t it?” Crowley asked.

 

Cas nodded slowly, unable to speak around the lump in his throat.

 

About five minutes later Dean came out the side door of the house and started walking to the Impala. He looked upset.

 

Cas jumped out of the car and called out to Dean who looked up sharply, fear in his eyes. “Cas? What are you doing here?” Cas just started at him. Dean took a few steps towards him. “Cas… This started a long time ago. I didn’t know you and- How did you find me here?”

 

“Balthazar told me that Nick used to take some girl here last summer… To his mother’s basement.”

 

Dean closed his eyes, trying to fight back tears. “Fucking Balthazar…” He breathed.

 

“Dean, I don’t understand… How… Why would you do this?” Cas said, starting to get angry now. “I know I fucked up, too. But I only fucked up one time and I fucking told you about it! God- Ruby tried to tell me. Ruby knew this whole time and I was too stupid to see it. You must thing I’m such a fucking pathetic fucking idiot!”

 

“You’re not a fucking idiot, I’m a fucking idiot!” Dean shouted back, tears spilling from his already red eyes.

 

“Yes, Dean, you are.” Cas spat, turning around and going back to Crowley’s car.

 

X X X

 

It’s been two days since then and neither Dean nor Cas have said a word to each other. On Thursday, Cas asks out Balthazar and he says yes. They go to Men of Letters and dance and kiss for a while and then they sit in the lounge area and talk.

 

“Holy shit…” Balthazar said, scandalized by Castiel’s retelling of Tuesday’s events.

 

“I know. I actually feel bad for them… Ya’know? They have to sneak around and lie to everybody.” Cas sighed.

 

“It’s so pathetic.” Bal said, impassioned. “He’s a married man. And everyone thinks he’s straight! It’s disgusting.”

 

“I know. Um… Bal, you cannot tell anyone about this. Ever.” Cas said seriously.

 

“Of course, Cas. I would never.” Bal promised, taking Cas’ hand and leaning in to kiss him.

 

X X X

 

The next day everyone was talking about Dean. Dean ignored it most of the day, praying to god that it wasn’t about what he knew it was about. It wasn’t until his shift was almost up that Becky came up to him and said, “Hey, I was wondering if you would go out with my dad? Just for one date and I’ll even pay you if you want. He’s been really down lately since the divorce and I think it would help him a lot to get some attention.”

 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Dean asked, horrified.

 

Becky blinked. “W-well… you’re into older men aren’t you?”

 

Dean stormed into the office and punched in his time card. Bobby and Ellen looked up in shock, like they had just been caught doing something dirty. “What’re you doin’, boy? Your shift ain’t up for another hour.” Bobby said.

 

“What’s up, darlin?” Ellen asked, noticing Dean’s red eyes.

 

Dean sniffed. “Um. I quit. That’s what’s up.”

 

X X X

 

“Yeah, can you believe it? Dean has been sleeping with Nick all summer.” The muttering voices said. Cas turned around to find the source of the voices and saw Ash talking to Lisa. “isn’t that fucked up?”

 

“I mean; I don’t blame him for getting it where he can but really? He could do so much better.” These were different voices. Cas turned and saw Becky talking to Anna.

 

“Nick is a fucking god. How many bitches has he got?” Said more people. Guys he didn’t know.

 

Everyone was talking about it. Everyone. Everywhere Cas turned.

 

“BALTHAZAR! Balthazar!” Cas yelled, running over to Bal’s ride. “What- I don’t know what to say. Everyone is talking about Dean and Nick.”

 

Bal rolled his eyes. “God damn it. Uriel’s got just a big fucking mouth. I’m sorry… I was drunk when you told me and I had to tell my best friends about it. Are you mad?”

 

“Well, yes, frankly I am. Nick is going to freak the fuck out and… And Dean quit...” Cas said. “He quit because you told people, Bal. I told you not to.”

 

“I feel bad for outing Nick but I have a hard time feeling sorry for Dean. He knew what he was doing. He went after a married man, that’s not okay. And he broke your heart.”

 

“But- Nick is married.” Cas argued.

 

“Exactly. Dean is a bloody homewrecker.”

 

“But Nick is the one who cheated on his wife.”

 

Balthazar was becoming increasingly frustrated. “Nick’s not the only one he’s fucking around with.”

 

“How do you know that?”

 

“I can’t believe you’re defending Dean!” Balthazar shouted.

 

“Why? Because Dean is out and proud and Nick isn’t? That’s no excuse.” Cas shouted back. “Nick is just as much to blame, if not more.”

 

“I can’t believe you.” Bal said, disgusted.

 

“No, I can’t believe you! I can’t believe you told everyone. We’re over, I don’t want to see you anymore.” Cas said, leaving Balthazar looking like he just got slapped.

 

X X X

 

Dean came come and found his father and step mom sitting with two other middle aged couples who smiled at him.

 

“Hello, Dean… You remember the Johnsons and the Carltons?” Abbadon asked, smiling her fake smile.

 

“Yep. Hi.” Dean mumbled, grabbing a bottle of rum from the vintage drinks cart Abbadon had bought a few months ago.

 

“Abby, I absolutely love this piece.” Said Mrs. Johnson, pointing at the cart.

 

“Oh, thank you. I got it at the most precious little antiques shop downtown.”

 

“You are just so classy.” Mrs. Carlton praised. “I love what you’ve done with the house.”

 

Dean scoffed, unscrewing the cap from the rum and drinking from the bottle. “I thought the house was a lot nicer the way my mom used to have it. It was homey. What ‘Abby’ has done looks pretty craptastic if you ask me.”

 

Abbadon let out a short, fake laugh. “Is that some kind of joke, Dean?”

 

Dean copied the laugh. “No. It’s not.”

 

“I think you owe me an apology, Dean. Right now.” Abby snapped.

 

“I don’t owe you shit.” Dean spat back, taking another gulp from the rum bottle.

 

“That’s it. Give me the rum.” Abbadon walked over to Dean and tried to snatch the bottle away. “Go to your room. You were not invited and I don’t want you here.”

 

“Go to my room? Are you fucking kidding me?” Dean laughed.

 

“No, I am not. I am sick and tired of your behavior. You can’t just come in here and say whatever the hell you want, you ungrateful little faggot.” Abbadon successfully took the bottle this time, spilling half of it in the process. Dean snatched hold of Abby’s wig and yanked it off, tossing it on the ground. Their dinner guests gasped in horror.

 

“Fuck you.” He said, shoving past his father who had rage in his eyes.

 

Dean went into the kitchen and John followed. “Dean! She had every right to say the things that she did. You cannot lash out like that! You can’t say those things to my wife!”

 

“Oh, I can’t say those things?”

 

“No!”

 

“I can’t say what I’m thinking and what I’m feeling every fucking day?! Huh?! Even if it was good things you wouldn’t hear it! Because ever since mom died you don’t listen to a fucking word I say! The only person you’ll even talk to is that woman!” Dean shouted and John hit him, hard, across the face.

 

“That woman _is_ your mother now. Now, go upstairs like she told you.”

 

X X X

 

Cas woke up in his dad’s car with the worst hangover of this life. He wasn’t entirely sure what he had done last night or why he was in a car seat rather than a bed. His mother was wrapping loudly on the window and Cas groaned. He slowly opened the car door, stuck his head out and vomited unceremoniously all over the driveway.

 

“Castiel, get ahold of yourself.” Naomi snapped.

 

Cas got up and staggered, looking around. The car was a wreck. It looked like Cas ran into a tree or something last night. Then he remembered. He had been drinking heavily, he got into the car, he was driving home… he found a liquor bottle in the floorboards and started to drink some more. He drank until he couldn’t see straight. He was driving and he almost hit another car but he swerved out of the way just in time. Unfortunately, he was run off the road and smacked into a tree.

 

Naomi brought Cas inside and sat him down in in the living room. Then she brought in the empty liquor bottle from the car. “What the heck is this, Castiel? What is wrong with you? I think that Kripkeland has made you regress or something. You are quitting that job.”

 

“I never want to go back there again…” Cas croaked, his voice hoarse. Next week was the last week of summer vacation anyways.

 

“Good. How much have you saved up?”

 

“$1,322”

 

“Well, the front axle on your father’s car is broken, but that might be enough to cover the damage.” Naomi told him.

 

Castiel’s eyes widened with panic. “Mom, I need every cent of that money for New York.”  

 

“Well, I’m sorry. You should have thought about that before you went out on this little joy ride of yours.” His mother snapped, getting up and going to the kitchen to clean.

 

X X X

 

Gabriel called him a day later. It was also, coincidentally, the day Castiel ran out of weed.

 

“I’m back, Cassie!” Gabriel practically yelled through the phone. Cas smiled. He had missed his best friend’s excitement.

 

“Thank god. How are you?” Cas asked.

 

“Europe changed me, man. It was revelatory. There I was, going from one incredible city to the next… The ruins, the cathedrals, the endless art treasures.”

 

Cas smiled sadly. He was happy for his friend, but hearing about all of these amazing things sent a pang of jealousy through his heart. The most exciting thing he had done this summer was break an amusement ride. “That sounds great, Gabriel.”

 

“It was. But I do you know what I realized while I was gone? Fuck the old world! I want the new world. And I want it now.”

 

“What? What do you mean?” Cas asked, shocked.

 

“I’m going to Harvard Business.” Gabriel announced.

 

“You- You’re applying?”

 

 “No. I already got in. Ya’know, strings were pulled… wheels greased…”

 

“But… But that’s in Boston. What about New York?” Castiel asked, panick rising in his throat. He was depending on Gabriel supporting him until he made enough money to support himself. “The apartment?”

 

Gabriel went quiet. “I’m sorry, man… I really wish I could help you out there, but…”

 

“I understand.” Cas said shortly, feeling crushed. All of his dreams where falling apart right in front of him.

 

X X X

 

Cas shuffled through the amusement park, trying to find Bobby to collect his final pay check. He found Bobby and Ellen, holding hands and looking up at Kripkeland’s most popular ride, Ghostfacer. Castiel smiled fondly. He was going to miss these two.

 

“Hey Bobby, Ellen.” Cas said respectfully, coming up and standing beside them.

 

“Hey, Castiel.” Ellen said sweetly. Bobby just smiled and nodded at him.

 

“How’re things going?”

 

“Oh, you know…” Bobby sighed, “It’s the last weekend of the season. Gotta get ready for the cold weather. Close up shop.”

 

“There’s more to it than just cuttin’ off all the lights, you know.” Ellen added.

 

“Good luck with that.” Cas said.

 

“Your check’s in the office.” Bobby grunted, letting go of Ellen’s hand to shake Castiel’s. “It’s been good havin’ you, boy. Will we be seein’ you next summer?”

 

Castiel tried hard not to cringe. The thought of spending another summer in this hell hole made him physically ill. “Honestly, probably not. But thank you… for everything.” He said sincerely, giving Bobby’s hand a squeeze. Cas collected his check from Bobby’s office and was about to leave the park forever when he saw Nick flirting with a bunch of pretty college girls. Cas walked closer to them and overheard what Nick was saying.

 

“Oh my god, he was so drunk. He was passed out on the floor and I thought we were gonna have to cancel the show but then they called his named and he got right up. We went out there and played through a whole set. We did Highway to Hell, Back in Black, Hells Yells… Uh.. Dirty Deeds…” Nick looked up suddenly and saw Cas. His smile faltered a little. “W-Wait one sec, gals.” He excused himself and walked over to Castiel. “Hey, man. Picking up your last paycheck?”

 

Cas nodded. “Yes… How have you been?”

 

“Not so good… Meg found out. About everything.”

 

“Sorry to hear that.” Castiel said, not really sorry at all.

 

“Yeah, it was bad… But it’s blown over now.” Nick sighed. “Mostly.”

 

“Have you… Uh- Have you spoken to Dean lately.”

 

Nick shook his head. “No. Not since you stopped talking to her.”

 

Cas bit his tongue and nodded sadly. He was surprised and kind of glad that Nick and Dean weren’t seeing each other anymore but he wished he could’ve gotten some kind of information about how Dean was doing. “Um… You know that the AC/DC song is called Hells Bells, right?” Cas asked. “You called it Hells Yells.”

 

Nick blinked. “I- Yeah, I know that. Hells Bells. Of course. I know.” He stammered.

 

“Yes… Of course you know.” Castiel gave him a knowing look.

 

Nick huffed an uncomfortable laugh. “Take care of yourself, Cas.”

 

“You too.” Cas said.

 

Nick patted Cas on the shoulder and went back to his girls. “Where was I… Um… _Hells Bells,_ right?”

 

Cas laughed despite himself. To think that he ever idolized this broken, ridiculous man was just absurd. Nick was just a compulsive liar who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. Cas was sad that he hadn’t seen it before.

 

X X X

 

“I heard Dean went back to New York.” Ruby told Cas. They were sitting on the top of a big hill, overlooking the town. Both of them were nursing beer bottles and looking sorrowful. Crowley and Ash were wrestling in the grass a few feet away.

 

“Yes… I wish things hadn’t ended the way that they did. I should’ve… I dunno… Tried to fix things.” Cas sighed.

 

Crowley came over, looking victorious but tired. “Hello gents.”

 

“Hey Crowley. You win?” Ruby asked.

 

“Hell yes, I did.”

 

Cas climbed to his feet. “I’m gonna go, guys. Gotta pack all my shit for New York…”

 

“I thought that wasn’t going to work out anymore?” Ruby asked.

 

“I’m going to _make_ it work.”  Castiel said determinedly. He held out a hand for Crowley to shake and when Crowley took it he pulled his frienemy in close and sucker-punched him in the nuts. _Payback._

 

Ruby laughed so hard she fell over, spilling her beer. “Oh my god!”

 

Cas grinned. “Good luck with him. And you have my number so text me any time, alright?” He called, making his way down the hill. Ruby was still laughing too hard to answer.

 

X X X

 

Now here he was, Castiel Novak. No money, no plan… on a bus to New York. Well, that was a lie… He did have a bit of a plan.

 

It started pouring rain as soon as he got off the bus. “Of fucking course.” Cas complained, dashing under an awning for a sandwich shop. He looked down at the scribbled directions on his arm and tried to figure out which way to go from here. It was already dark, and Cas barely knew what he was doing but he was determined. He secured his back pack on his shoulder, pulled down his shirt sleeve to cover his directions from the rain, and soldiered on.

 

He arrived at the apartment and had to wait a good twenty minutes before he saw who he had been waiting for crossing the street, an umbrella shielding him from the heavy rain. Cas wished he had brought an umbrella. He had been stuck outside for at least thirty-five minutes now and he was utterly soaked to the bone.

 

The man stopped dead when he saw Cas sitting on the front steps to his apartment. “Holy shit.”

 

“Hello, Dean.” Cas smiled, getting to his feet. “I just got off a bus… I’m a New Yorker now! I guess I should really buy an umbrella…” He said, looking up at the sky.

 

“I don’t think…” Dean bit his lip. “I don’t think I can talk to you.”

 

“What?” Cas’ face fell.

 

Dean sighed. “This summer was… fucking rough, Cas. I did things that I really, really regret.”

 

“Me too.” Cas said softly. “I’m really sorry that I told Balthazar about you and Nick. He told everybody else and I really regret telling him. I’m not going to lie, Dean, I was really mad at you… But you didn’t deserve that.”

 

“No, Cas… I did. And I am _so_ sorry for fucking this up. You were the only good thing that happened this summer.” Dean sniffed, turning away from Cas and walking up the apartment steps.

 

“Wait! Dean… I think that I see you a little differently than you do.” Cas said, following him. “I mean- I see the person who fucked up but I also see the person who saved me from getting knifed over a giant ass panda… The person who introduced me to weed cookies… Who stood up for Ruby… Who doesn’t make apologies for who he is. My theory is that you can’t just avoid everyone you screw things up with. Trust me, I’m a New Yorker.”

 

Dean let out a watery laugh and sniffled. “Come inside you fucking goof.”

 

X X X

 

“You’re fucking soaked.” Dean observed once they were inside the apartment. Cas was dripping all over the kitchen floor.

 

“Yes… I’d noticed.”

 

“Do you have anything else you can wear?” Dean asked.

 

“I’ll check.” Cas said, putting his backpack on the table and starting to dig through it.

 

“Do you want somethin’ to drink? You like tea, right?”

 

Cas nodded. “Um, yes… Tea would be great, thank you.” Silence fell between them as Dean microwaved water and Cas looked for dry clothes. He cursed. “No… Everything in here is drenched.”

 

Dean sighed and got Cas a towel from the bathroom so that he could dry off. “So… you here for Columbia?”

 

“No, actually… Um, maybe next year.”

 

“Why?” Dean asked, frowning.

 

“I wrecked my dad’s car… Lost all of my grad school money.” Cas said, smiling at how ridiculous the situation was.

 

“Damn. So what’s the plan?” Dean asked, pulling out a tea bag and putting it in the mug of hot water.

 

“I’m going to sleep at the homeless shelter down the block for about a week while I look for a shitty job… And then, I’m not sure what I’ll do.”

 

Dean bit his lip, clearly not approving of this plan, but didn’t say anything. “Give me your shirt.”

 

“My shirt?” Cas asked, looking down at the wet garment.

 

“I’ll dry it for you. You can borrow one of mine for tonight.” Dean explained. Cas nodded and pulled his shirt up over his head, handing it to Dean. Dean tossed it on top of the washing machine and walked over to where is bed was. He opened the dresser next to it and looked for a shirt. He smirked as he pulled out his Kripkeland ‘games’ shirt. “You wanna wear this?”

 

Cas took the shirt, made a disgusted sound and tossed it on the bed. “I never wanna see that thing again.” Dean laughed his beautiful laugh, the one that gave Cas butterflies. “Why do you have that?” Cas asked, chuckling along with Dean. “Why did you keep that stupid shirt?”

 

Before Dean could answer, Cas’ lips were on his. Their lips slid together perfectly, like they always had, and Cas wondered why he had never appreciated it before. Dean pulled away and stared at Castiel, searching.

 

“Is it alright that I did that?” Cas asked.

 

“Yeah…” Dean breathed, nodding slowly.

 

Castiel smiled and hesitantly kissed Dean again, wrapping an arm around the taller man’s waist and pulling him closer. It was surreal, standing here in Dean’s warm apartment, still shirtless, kissing him like it was their first time. And in a way it was. It was the first time they’d kissed after Cas found out about Nick. It was the first time they’d kissed in New York. It was the first time they’d kissed when neither of them had anything to hide.

 

Dean groaned softly when Cas licked into his mouth, deepening their kiss. Their hands roamed, caressing and groping. And Cas whispered sweet nothings to Dean as they fell backwards into the bed. The unspoken love between them was evident in all their movements and despite how scared they both were; they knew exactly what they wanted.

 

Cas kicked his shoes and socks off as Dean took his shirt off and tossed it aside. Dean undid the fly of his pants and they both froze for a moment, looking at each other. “Are we really doing this?” Cas asked.

 

“I think we are.” Dean whispered.

 

A smile spread across Cas’ face. “Okay.”

 

They both returned to undressing themselves, a nervous tension in the air. Dean is fucking gorgeous, and Cas just wants to get his lips all over that tan, freckled skin. They started to kiss again, slowly at first. Then Cas tangled his hands into Dean's hair and curling his tongue around his. Their bodies naked pressed up against one another and Dean let out a keening whine, starting to rub their erections together. He rolls his hips, nipping at Cas' lower lip. Dean pulled away from the kiss, causing Cas to whine and try to hold him by his hair. Dean’s mouth moved to Cas’ jawline, trailing affectionate kisses along his jaw and then down his neck.

 

Dean reached down and wrapped his hand around both of their dicks. Cas thrusts into his fist, letting out a strangled “fuck!”

 

Neither of them lasted long. Dean came first, letting out a soft cry and burying his face in Cas’ hair. Cas was right behind him, painting both of their hands and stomachs in white. The aftershocks rocked his body and he was only vaguely aware of Dean whispering soothing things in his ear.

 

“Holy shit...” Cas panted.

 

Dean nodded in agreement, a sedated grin spread across his face. “Wish me had done that a while ago…” He said. “Ya’know… You should stay here.”

 

“What?”

 

“Well, I’m not going to let you stay at a homeless shelter.” Dean scoffs. “So just stay here.”

 

Cas gasped in mock-scandal. “But there’s only one bed.”

 

Dean laughs and kisses Castiel. “I think we’re at the point where we can share a bed.”

 

“Really?” Cas asked, his eyes hopeful.

 

“Yeah.” Dean affirmed.

 

Cas let out a contented sigh. “I think I love you.”

 

Dean sucked in a breath, unsure of what to say. “You sure you don’t want Balthazar? He’s a lot less fucked up.”

 

“I have to admit Balthazar was very handsome.” Cas paused, stroking the side of Dean’s face with the back of his hand. “But he was a fucking idiot… And he wasn’t you.”

 

Dean smiled and pulled Cas in for another long kiss. For now, it was all that Dean could give him but Cas knew what it meant.

 

From now on, everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finn


End file.
